tuluum's Diaryland Diary
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TranceJen: DA VIEW (part 2)
WE ARE THE WORLD� WE ARE THE CHILDREN
TranceJen: so break down some Trini slang for me.
HLM: not slang! language!!
TranceJen: language
HLM: uh. ok maco ... a noun for a nosy person .
TranceJen: :P
HLM: maco adjective for being nosy (short for macom�) "yuh too maco"
HLM: or "she real maco eh?"
TranceJen: cool
HLM: and maco is also a verb
HLM: "ah feelin to maco jen and she boyfriend conversation" (eavesdrop)
TranceJen: like nosing around?
TranceJen: OK, gotcha
TranceJen: cool. :)
TranceJen: Like if you wanted to call someone a lame-assed bitch you would say...
HLM: well you could call a lame ass bitch a jamette which is a "skank ass ho "
TranceJen: I'll have to use that one. Lots of skanky hos out here.
HLM: or you could say she poom poom real slack ("loose vagina")
TranceJen: LMAO!
TranceJen: Sweet!
TranceJen: Dude, you poom poom real slack!
TranceJen: I am so using that one.
TranceJen: we went clubbing on Saturday
TranceJen: it was pretty vile.
HLM: eeewww
TranceJen: oh yeah. Pimp daddies and stank hos.
HLM: I haven't clubbed in years, the clubs here blow chunks
TranceJen: I am south of the city and the clubs suck here, too. But in the city....WHOOOOO>
HLM: you'd make a sweet ass bitch to my pimp stylings though
TranceJen: Pimp it, baby.
HLM: you could be all leaning on my gold cane and rubbing your cheek on my "fur"
TranceJen: Got your platforms on?
HLM: Got my caps on baby :)
TranceJen: Bling-blingin'?
HLM: all the way baby :)
WE LOVE US THOSE SMUG THUGS!
HLM: There's something about Ol Dirty Bastard..
TranceJen: ODB! I know!
TranceJen: he is a supa-pimp.
HLM: Isn't he . "BITCH! GIMME MA MONEY! "
TranceJen: I love Busta Rhymes.
TranceJen: that's my man.
HLM: I'm keepin it for Snoop babes :)
HLM: used to love when he had those heidi curls
HLM: though i'm kinda creepin on the side with ja rule these days
TranceJen: Snoop. Have you seen the Snoop Girls Gone Wild commercial?
HLM: isnt it SKANKY!!
TranceJen: I can't get into Ja Rule.
TranceJen: I love the smug look on Snoop, though.
TranceJen: LMAO
HLM: yeah i love that too.. makes me wanna find out what he is so smug about ;) rowr
HLM: of course my friend had to tell me ja looks like the geico gecko, but I DONT CARE!!
TranceJen: You can't turn on the radio here without 12 Ja Rule songs.
TranceJen: "Every thug needs a LADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY"
HLM: WORD!!
TranceJen: I know.
HLM: Should I get my penis enlarged? I hear guys and girls like big wood
TranceJen: LOL
TranceJen: Penis enlargement?
BUT WHAT ARE THEY SAYING?
HLM: Now Beyonces hips.. damn! they need a consumer alert or something. ROWR!! Jay Z is rockin that!!
TranceJen: I just saw them on Saturday night live - I'm glad she ditched the fro.
HLM: Why couldnt my first man have had Bling!! like the REAL BLING!
TranceJen: I was not liking the fro.
HLM: man my eyes barely moved past her waist
TranceJen: lol
HLM: i was like damn!
TranceJen: She looks good.
HLM: hehehehhe I'm feelin her more lately than before
HLM: before she was too 'barbie ' for me
TranceJen: I wanted to see the new Austin Powers with her.
HLM: but now that she got some HOVA in her .. heheh yeah
TranceJen: but haven't seen it yet.
HLM: i did nt get to see it :(
TranceJen: LOL
TranceJen: are they going out?
HLM: word
HLM: that's the RUUUMAH!
HLM: fo shizzle ma nizzle
TranceJen: No shit. That HOVA song pissed me off for a long time because I had no damn idea what the fuck it meant...
TranceJen: I was like H to the wha?
HLM: HAHAHAHH me neither so i googled . and then i was like damn.. i shouldnt have found out :)
TranceJen: LOL
TranceJen: I know.
HLM: yeah i was like damn, i just bought ebonics for dummies now you gone and flipped the script on me again!!
TranceJen: Ebonics for dummies. LOL
TranceJen: I grew up in the hood - Ebonics as second language.
HLM: oooo i have no clue what ebonics are and is i sound like bill gates trying to bond in harlem when i try . did not go over well with black americans in college hahah
HLM: word .. lets raise the roof.
HLM: who's down
TranceJen: I was known as "Barbie" in high school
TranceJen: sad thing.
HLM: heheh i was known as "hillary" hahahah
TranceJen: lol
HLM: from fresh prince
TranceJen: Oh no!!!!
HLM: yup. thats me :)
TranceJen: Heh.
HLM: hahahahhaa
HLM: but i'm smarter than i come off :) picture hillary with the iq and social life of daria :)
TranceJen: Daria rocks.
HLM: daria rules
TranceJen: I'm told I sound like her.
TranceJen: Have the deep weirdo voice.
HLM: ooooo sexy
TranceJen: I don't know - people think I'm a man on the phone half the time. LOL
HLM: hahah when i answer the phone strangers always go "is your mommy home"
TranceJen: lmao
HLM: i like girls with that whole janeane garafalo vibe :)
TranceJen: Janeane? I like her.
HLM: i think she's hot too :)
HLM: she made me decide to get a breast reduction :)
TranceJen: you got one or are getting one?
HLM: want to get want to get!!
TranceJen: What size are they?
HLM: *mumbles 36dd*
TranceJen: Daaaamn.,
HLM: thank YOU!
TranceJen: ouch.
TranceJen: I'd probably get one too.
HLM: yeah and i aint exactly 5'11
HLM: men get very offended when i mention it
HLM: say i'm being selfish
HLM: that they are there for my man and my kid
TranceJen: Men can't stand to think of it.
HLM: i'm like whatever
TranceJen: Oh well! Not their tits.
TranceJen: I have nasty post-kid boobs.
HLM: your boo doesnt mind your boobs :)
HLM: heheh boo boobs
HLM: hey how long have you been with the boo?
HLM: howd ya meet? :)
TranceJen: Almost two years.
TranceJen: We met through his former band
HLM: hehe you were a groupie
TranceJen: yeah! Started talking on the Net and than started hanging out.
WHORES ANONYMOUS
TranceJen: I have a cold sore that honestly looks like a huge fucking tumor. LOL
HLM: cold sores make me look syphillitic , like i should be spreading for pennies at the wharf
TranceJen: I'm there. I look like a crack ho.
TranceJen: scary stuff.
TranceJen: LOL
WHO'S GAY? WHO'S REALLY REALLY GAY?
from the brilliant mind of yawner.diaryland.com
HLM: oh my i can't believe justin timberlake is denying that he is copying michael jackson's style
TranceJen: I know. He is so full of shit. There's a song I can't deal with.
TranceJen: That man is so in denial
TranceJen: he is as gay as Liberace,
HLM: the sad part is .. i dont know if you mean justin or michael!!
HLM: *falls off her chair laughing *
TranceJen: Justin.
HLM: i dunno i wanna try him out before he uh.. finds out heh.. he's got .. big hands
TranceJen: Michael's just a freak. LOL
TranceJen: Maybe Justin and Michael have a thing going on.
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: EEWWWW
TranceJen: Ha!
BUT SERIOUSLY FOLKS� ONLINE JOURNALLING IS NOT ALL LAUGHS 'N GAMES
TranceJen: so does anyone you know read your site?
HLM: too many people i know read my site!
TranceJen: I would freak out.
TranceJen: I just couldn't do it.
HLM: yeah its not easy
HLM: but you know, whatever
HLM: i figure i dont force them
HLM: and if they see something they don't like tough
TranceJen: right.
TranceJen: I'm one of those anal people who never talks about anything.
TranceJen: so i think they would be surprised.
HLM: what i cant stand is being trashed though
TranceJen: have you been?
HLM: one could say that..
HLM: but you know whatever..
TranceJen: I get the occasional hate mail, but not too bad. Fuck 'em. :)
HLM: i am still waiting on anonymous hate mail though, that's the whole reason i started this damn diary!@! haha
TranceJen: I get "you whine too damn much", which I do. Hey, why not.
HLM: i want the kind of cool ignorant mail i see in the papers and on tv :)
HLM: one of my friends says i really don't though
TranceJen: cool ignorant mail. LOL
HLM: i hate when friends burst my bubble :)
TranceJen: me too.
HLM: hehe
TranceJen: I would love to go to Journal con.
HLM: Hey, maybe this interview will trigger avalanches of HATE MAIL !
TranceJen: Maybe!
TranceJen: I could write you hate mail if you want.
HLM: i'm BLACK AND JEWISH AND A THIRD WORLD WOMAN!!!!! (if you need any prompts)
TranceJen: Creative hate mail.
TranceJen: I got hate mail from the whole Andrea Yates thing.
HLM: You know Andrea Yates???
TranceJen: Hell no!
TranceJen: But I "expressed my opinion" about her "post-partum depression" and people flamed me.
HLM: Oh you supported it?
TranceJen: I think the bitch should fry.
TranceJen: lol
HLM: oh well yeh :) haha
HLM: i was aout to say beat the bitch til she bleeds . but hey fry will do :)
TranceJen: or both.
HLM: hahahahha
TranceJen: lol
HLM: tenderizing always makes the final result tastier
TranceJen: Mwuhahah!
HLM: yeah what can i say i'm kinda no nonsense when it comes to most things . a lot of the touchy feely goes way over me , i'm all about the doctor phil and less about the oprah
TranceJen: yeah. I'm more of a hard ass.
TranceJen: fuck the liberals. LOL
HLM: YOU SAID IT NOT ME!!
TranceJen: I am going to cook that pizza tomorrow night. I can't wait.
HLM: oh yeah you are gonna love it baby !!
HLM: be sure to drain the tomatoes , i forgot once and it was a bit soggy, still good but a little too moist
TranceJen: will do.
HLM: :):) though can anything really be too moist? ;)
TranceJen: Never!
TranceJen: Ha!
HLM: hehehhe
TranceJen: You perv.
TranceJen: :D
WHAT DR.RUTH NEVER TOLD US�
HLM: do you believe in wiping after sex?
TranceJen: I do. Sincerely.
HLM: wow. i must be the nastiest slut
TranceJen: LMAO
HLM: i'm all aout marinating in natures flow baby
TranceJen: I think I'm more paranoid about renegade sperm and sheet preservation.
HLM: roll me baste me :)
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: seriously . back neck thighs , ears it's all good :)
TranceJen: LOL
TranceJen: sperm sundae.
HLM: i ASK for the Wet SPOT!!
HLM: yummmmmmmm :)))
TranceJen: I give the wet spot away.
HLM: see i dont understand that ! it's all about the basting baby, i swear , it gives you a glow :)
TranceJen: I purposely roll over to that side of the bed so that he gets the wet spot.
TranceJen: *mean*
CUM ON OVER FOR DINNER!
HLM: hey you ever read ask isadore?
TranceJen: I haven't.
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: it was this column they had like dear abby for pervs
HLM: i'll never forget one guy, another reason i eat home as much as possible!
HLM: he had a fetish for ejaculating on food before guests arrived
TranceJen: Are you serious??
HLM: he said it gave him thrills to know his guests were eating his cum and not knowing it
TranceJen: That adds a whole new dimension to the dinner party.
HLM: until one day a girl got like violently ill almost right away and he felt really bad and scared and he wrote asking if he should stop
TranceJen: Couldn't they tell?
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: well i dunno maybe they thought it was kosher salt hahaha
TranceJen: Ha!
HLM: hahahhaha
HLM: can you imagine. michael.. wow. whats in this. i'm tasting is that oregano.. yes? and uh.. yes there's .. what's that other seasoning. i t's on the tip of my tongue. why can't i remember it.. i'm definitely tasting it though..
TranceJen: Ha!
TranceJen: Is that a new white sauce?
TranceJen: Can I have the recipe??
HLM: hahahahahahahahahh
TranceJen: lol
HLM: hahahha something tells me he may have done a quick stir ;)
HLM: but uh.. who knows ;)
HLM: hahah
TranceJen: You'd hope.
TranceJen: LOL Now I'm going to be paranoid for the rest of my life.
HLM: oh btw in trinidad i have heard people 'talk' of this thing called sweating rice
TranceJen: OK
TranceJen: which is?
HLM: so uh.. *hush* if you want to get that guy to be yours forever you may wanna talk notes
TranceJen: lol
HLM: you make the rice ..
HLM: then drop your drawers while its hot . and squat over the rice
HLM: so that the uh.. juices and uh.. aromas meld
TranceJen: hell no. LOL
HLM: HAHAAHHAHAH
TranceJen: That is so wrong.
TranceJen: lol
HLM: they say he'll be hooked forever and he won't know what hit him
TranceJen: "Baby, whip up a little of that crotch rice, will you?"
HLM: noooo he musnt know ;)
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: it's a secret squat ;)
TranceJen: I'd think the pubic hair would give it away.
HLM: you may want to try some propecia if its falling out that fast honey :)
TranceJen: HA!
HLM: i keep wanting to try it though, more to know what steamed nani (vagina) will feel like :)
TranceJen: LMAO
TranceJen: HAAAAAA
HLM: RICE A RONI :)
TranceJen: Oh god,...
TranceJen: Risotto De Vagina.
HLM: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHA
TranceJen: too funny.
TRANCE IS BRAVE AND SHE SHOWS IT! (even if she doesn't know it!)
HLM: So what keeps you going through all the exams and physicals and tests?
TranceJen: I have no idea really. I have more this week. Fun fun fun.
HLM: Wrong answer. this is where you go, my child, my lover, my Lord
TranceJen: Yeah.
HLM: ok, lets try it with feeling now :)
TranceJen: I just keep hoping for the eventual miracle cure.
HLM: i do too :)
TranceJen: :)
HLM: dont forget yoga :)
TranceJen: I know -
TranceJen: I need a little meditation in my life, probably.
TranceJen: This week is the EMG
HLM: i read things in natural health magazine all the time. people have doctors telling them have 2 weeks left to live with one blood cell and they go to some chinese man called xin in an alley and ten years later they are running in marathons.
HLM: (Lynn is gonna kill me for that one) hehhe
TranceJen: LOL - could happen. I'm a skeptic, but it could happen.
TranceJen: You never know.
HLM: Dude my mom is all about Eastern medicine and she has diabetes and little to no complications yet .
TranceJen: That's cool.
HLM: the doctors are all fuddled , she doesnt tell them, it's like Calgon, her ancient family recipe :)
TranceJen: I think it can help. Can't mess with the power of positive thinking.
HLM: uh uh that's a sckeptical cool
TranceJen: not a skeptical cool. A serious cool.
HLM: its more than just thinking baby its compounds :) fuck the fda !!
HLM: damn how do you keep spelling that word correctly :)
TranceJen: The FDA is out for the almighty dollar.
TranceJen: but they have given me Zanaflex, so I should say thank you and shut up. LOL
THIS IS THE END�. MY ONLY FRIEND, THE END
HLM: I loved your Halloween spiders :) They made me smile, and Halloween puzzles me :) so that's saying a lot :)
TranceJen: You liked the spiders? Cool.
TranceJen: I'll send one if you want. :)
HLM: two more questions
TranceJen: Yeah?
HLM: ok 3
TranceJen: LOL
TranceJen: Bring it on.
HLM: do you have an inner monkey?
TranceJen: I do. I actually have an outer monkey too. It is hanging from the post on my bed. It's a little Velcro monkey.
HLM: ) if your inner monkey could speak to your outer monkey what would they say?
TranceJen: My inner monkey would probably tell it to run and hide. LOL
HLM: that's powerful
TranceJen: My inner monkey is probably a very scared little monkey.
HLM: Jen
TranceJen: What?
HLM: Why is it scared?
TranceJen: It lives in the abyss of neurotic bullshit.
TranceJen: Wouldn't you be scared
HLM: Yes it sounds scary
HLM: Jen
TranceJen: What?
HLM: Why does my Hot Monkey Love turn you on so?
TranceJen: Heheh. You are the Monkey Queen. You have good monkey vibes.
HLM: Thanks baby, that's really sweet, I'll try to remember that
HLM: That is all
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: Did you like your inner monkey view
TranceJen: Thanks.
TranceJen: I did. And I learned about steamed rice. Hey. Gotta love that.
HLM:
HLM: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: sweat rice
TranceJen: Yes, sweat rice.
HLM: isn't squat a seedy word
TranceJen: It is!
HLM: did you know there is a thing you can buy so that you can squat over your toilet? (note: I found it at NaturesPlatform.com after the interview was over)
TranceJen: What kind of thing?
HLM: i dunno a thingy thing
TranceJen: LOL
TranceJen: OH, that thing.
HLM: i saw it advertised in the back of natural health
TranceJen: :D
TranceJen: But why would you need to squat over your own toilet?
HLM: something about it being healthier .. the banner was like 2/3 of the world squats to relieve itself
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: and it had a drawing of a squatting dude, how could i not read the text after that hahah
TranceJen: Ha!
HLM: i cant say i ordered one though hahah
TranceJen: Yeah, I think I'd rather stay in the minority on that one.
HLM: yeah.. sorry dude
TranceJen: Although it's probably good exercise.
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: eeeewwww
TranceJen: Ha!
HLM: can you imagine when company comes over
HLM: talk about getting rid of house guests hahah
TranceJen: "Um, what is that THING?"
HLM: bring out the 'squatter'
TranceJen: "It's my Squat-tronic!"
HLM: see and then you leap and squat
TranceJen: Heheh.
TranceJen: I sense a new dance craze.
HLM: eeewwwwww
TranceJen: LOL
HLM: i think men should like squash their uh.. accrouements if they are going to wear slacks
HLM: slacks make everything look so lewd
TranceJen: You think?
HLM: oh yeah, ask a man to squat in slacks and then tell me otherwise�
Missed Part 1 of this risky repart�? Click here!
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More Inner-Monkey-Views! | Onward to my most recent entry
1:58 a.m. - Friday, Nov. 08, 2002
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