tuluum's Diaryland Diary
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Ani Dodi v'Dodi Li
Which Sex and the City Player Are You? Find out @ She's Crafty
I have too much free time.
No .. I set too much time free
However unlike a bird it won't return.
That part still hasn't sunk in....
I've been meaning to respond to friends' entries for a few weeks now, and since I really need a pick-me-up at the moment I thought now is as good a time as any. I need something hopeful and fanciful so I think I will address Lynnie Da Pooh's wedding entry - with me supposedly meeting Mr. Right this and all ;) and her as well! :))
Like Lynnie I have all my plans set. Well with two broken engagements under my belt *bows, thank you thank you* I might as well have something to show for it ! now I just need to find the guy... (all he really has to do is show up.. oh and pay for the honeymoon or something I"m not sure yet) :)) Jinny Pop isn't into the whole wedding plan thing. She had a civil ceremony. I agree with all of her reasons, they are very logical and clear and sensical :)
Anyway I want to share my plans with y'all :) Why? No idea really..
Now keep in mind this entry is culminated from a huge ass folder I've been keeping since 1996, so everything is SEVERELY abbreviated since I"m too lazy to scan, all images are mere approximations :)) Oh and there's tons more about Jewish weddings at this link.
THEME: THE SECRET GARDEN
Always loved this story and its imagery.
THE ENGAGEMENT RING:
Look in the bottom left hand corner of your screen ;)
LOCATION:
I would like an outdoor evening ceremony (sunset into dusk) semi-formal.
With the reception at an indoor ballroom at the same location as the the ceremony.
Possibly a Saturday, Sunday or Monday evening.
I am not sure which country I want to get married in. I don't particularly care to get married in Trinidad as it doesn't really hold any poignancy for me and the place has too many bugs. I always wanted to get married at Smith.. maybe by the pond with the reception at either the Alumnae House (*cough*discount*cough*) or the Hotel Northampton. In the crisp Fall air :) Though July and August are cheaper :))
I would prefer New England cos it feels like home to me and is just full of joy for me, however in the end economics and logistics will prevail. Example, where the hell is the 'mystery groom' going to be from? How large is his family/guestlist? Access to kosher catering is a must so if it has to be in Trinidad I'll have to see if halal will be halachally acceptable but I doubt it will.
*hopes for a New England wedding*
*hopes for a New England wedding* :))
GUESTS:
No more than 100, preferably 50-75. I am all about intimacy and seclusion :) And I would rather have each guest treated as the royalty of my life than as impersonal cookie cutter seat-warmers :)
THE DRESS:
BOUQUET:
Cascade
PHOTOS:
Dude totally documentary style. Black and White + Sepia Tones for group shots. .
WIth candid shots provided by guests :))
THE CEREMONY:
On the day of the wedding, before the ceremony, many things occur in a Jewish wedding.
The obligatory elements are the signing of the ketubah by witnesses (more on the ketubah in a bit :)) and the bedecked, the moment when the man lifts and lowers the woman's veil, designating her as the woman he is about to marry (and making sure to avoid the mistake of the patriarch Jacob, who was tricked into marrying the wrong sister)
Unlike Xtian ceremonies the bride's family and friends sit on the right side and the wedding procession includes the groom, both sets of parents and even grandparents :) Also, there are no attendants :)
The central symbol of the wedding ceremony is the chuppah or wedding canopy. The chuppah represents the ideal home which the couple enters at the beginning of the wedding ceremony. Traditionally the chuppah is attached to poles held by close friends or family members, to symbolize the support that others promise to the couple throughout their lives together. The chuppah is a home without walls, representing openness and welcome. In addition, the chuppah stands for the presence of the Shechinah, the protecting female presence of G-d.
The wedding ceremony itself has three essential parts.
1) After the couple come under the chuppah the rabbi welcomes them and chants the blessing of erusin (betrothal) over a cup of wine. This moment marks the consecration of the woman to the man and the man to the woman, the creation of an exclusive relationship. :))
After the blessing the man gives the woman a ring (plain gold band) to solemnize the betrothal
"Harey at m'kuddeshet li b'taba'at zo k'dat Moshe v'Yisra'el"
Behold you are consecrated to me according to this ring, according to the Law of Moses, and (the people) Israel
Unlike Xtian (and Reform Jewish) weddings the bride wears her wedding ring on her right index finger.
It is not traditional for a woman to give a man a ring in return. This is probably something that I will also follow myself. Though I do think men with wedding rings are quite sexy :) If the groom really wants one then I will, but if he couldn't care less I won't :)
2) The ketubah (marriage contract) is read aloud. It is a legal document that stipulates the financial rights of the women in the event of divorce or the death of her husband. (The original pre-nuptial agreement heheh). Today others extend the concept of the contract beyond the legal and financial and write together a document that speaks of the ideals to which the couple will dedicate their home and the commitments each person makes to the other. This like the ketubah itself is quite beautiful to me and I think I will do something similar as well. The ketubah by the way gets hung up in your home as well :)
3) Nissuin (Marriage). Seven blessings are chanted. They praise G-d for :
a) WINE (WOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!)
b) Creation
c) Creating humanity
d) Creating humanity with the ability to pro-create (WOOHOOO WOOHOO !!) :)
e) the wedding being a joyous sign that the Jewish people still exist
f) making the bride and groom as happy as Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden
g) the joy that each wedding radiates to the world :))
The bride traditionally circles the groom with each blessing :))))))
At the end of nissuin comes the well-known custom of breaking the glass.
After the ceremony the couple is escorted to a private room by guys dancing backward :)) for yichud, a short time of private togetherness before they re-emerge for the seudat mitzvah the reception :)) In Biblical days this was when.. uh.. the groom would deflower the bride.. and she'd come out waving some kinda bloody sheet .. heheh. Don't worry it's not done anymore :) All the practices that surround a Jewish meal, from the blessing over bread, to the blessing after a meal are part of this seudah. Because I plan an Orthodox ceremony men and women will be seated separately. All men (Jewish and non-Jewish) will wear yarmulkes.
During the meal the guests dance and entertain the couple. To toast, honor, and gladden the couple is a religious obligation!
MUSIC:
A small quartet (flute, violin, harp)
RECEPTION: NON-SMOKING + ADULTS ONLY - nooo kids!!
First off I totally don't believe in throwing bouquets or garter shows.. the end..
DECOR:
To save costs but stay in theme, oodles of flowers in the same color all over the place interspersed with ferns :)
Orchids will be centerpieces :) Also tiny white lights :))
Instead of a tacky ass guestbook I will purchase a set of beautiful stationery cards and each guest will be invited to write a prite a personal message and place the card into a decorated hat box :)
MUSIC:
Live steelband (calypso, classical and klezmer music :))
CENTERPIECES:
Ferns and off white - candles on brass or gold plated pedestals, or something along the above.. we'll see
Each table will be named after towns in our lives with special meaning :)
CAKE:
In keeping with the cascading floral theme :)
I would like a sponge cake with yellow buttercream frosting :)))
Tons of confectionary flowers and 6 layers (2 mocha, 2 kahlua, 2 lemon) :))))
The groom's cake will be a traditional Trini black cake :) (for memento)
MENU:
Buffet:
Bread: Gourmet bread baskets with flavorful scones, muffins, breadsticks and rolls in a variety of heights, textures and shapes
Vegetables
Salads: Honey tarragon dressing!!
Fish
Dessert: Wedding cake served with sauce and strawberries
Champagne
Wine: Red and white wine will be served during dinner in lieu of an open bar, as well as a dessert wine during dessert
Cocktails
Pepper mills and Perrier on guest tables.
HONEYMOON:
I really would like a Cruise to Australia and a Week in Fiji or something along those lines :))
12:59 p.m. - 2002-06-24
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