tuluum's Diaryland Diary
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Paradise (Not For Me)
Awww, here I am lying on the floor and watching the Bachelorette. Wondering in part where all the time has gone?
I had a pretty strange 'episode' on Monday. I don't really know how to explain it. Some days are easier to fight off than others, you know?
Yesterday things were much better, I was able to get a lot done. I have been delving into the world of databases (MySQL) and PHP. It's really fascinating and I wish I had gotten into it sooner! :)
There is a reason that I have decided to learn this stuff now, but I won't be getting into that right now...
So, today? Today...Today...Today...
Today I got DVDs (two) from Carlos.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding and Left Luggage, a sorta Valentine's Day present. Awwww. I was really touched and moved.. and confused! It was a wonderful surprise :)
I've been doing a frightening amount of work on "Ugly Girl" lately. To the point that I have decided to put Mirari (my tarot biz) on the line for now. I just will not be able to focus on both right now.
Oh gross. I am watching the preview for "Are You Hot?". Why do people go on shows like that? Ew. Like Lorenzo Llamas' opinion means shit to me. I guess everyone is a masochist in one way or another. Right now I am just -very- frustrated. Have been for the past few days actually.
Frustrated
Sad
A little bit adrift.
I can not think, objectively, of any reasons why I should be owning these emotions at this point in time. But, subjectively, I know where this is coming from and my way of handling it right now is to pour it into my craft. Some of which may be made public at some point, or not. Who knows. I just need an outlet.
Right now I feel I have outlets, but non particularly satisfying.
There are only two ways that I will be sated (I believe), and of those two only one is my reality for now. And so you see.. that is why I am so distracted. I know you can understand.
Man, this bachelorette chick is a real doofus. I can't believe she chose that dim oaf. Grr. Missy Elliott is on Cribs later, so is Puck(?!?). Who knew Puck even had a home?
I'm starting to feel much better getting this all down. I shouldn't start slacking off.. keeping myself together is far too important.
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Current Clix Ranking: 19 | Previous Clix Ranking: 18
11:28 p.m. - Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2003
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