tuluum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Little bit of this, Little bit of that... Interpretation: Spend some time examining myself and my work this week. A new phase in my life is opening up. (Subconscious: Judgement) Oh Lord, my troubles so hard I'm so stressed and unhappy right now, it isn't cute and my cards aren't exactly giving me a pep talk... I feel ill and useless and really sad... That feeling that comes with extreme guilt. Guilt that comes when I become acutely aware of my feelings and I hate it. I just hate it. And it's all that I can do to keep my hands on the throat of this emotion so that it doesn't spin around and lash me. I've put back up Mirari (my tarot site). The book contract that I was (literally) banking on has been pushed back to August so it's back to the grindstone again. Lord.. I wish I could cry but nothing comes except this tightening band on my chest... that's not good. Simi is back! And I'm so happy about that.. but who knows how much time I will get to spend with her when I have to spend all this energy just making up for lost time? My energy is at zero. My joy is at sub-zero. I'm finding precious little these days to motivate me outside of my projects and those take $ that I don't have right now because everything has already been allocated. I've set up a mailing list dbase for Mirari with form subscriptions and unsubs. I'm pretty proud of this :) Later tonight I will work on adding fave tarot books/decks to the site and design some products... You know what has me shaky right now? Finding out that -you- have an online presence. I should not be surprised though, should I ? If you have found mine you have not said anything and so too shall my tongue remain still... I need to increase my dosage. I would like to increase my dosage. i am supposed to increase my dosage "Everything goes to these bills and pills - "Trip-Hop". copyright 2003, So Low Music .. **************************************************************************** Current Clix Ranking: 35 | Previous Clix Ranking: 31 6:23 p.m. - Sunday, Feb. 23, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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