tuluum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Strung Out and it feels G O O D El octavio dia dios despues de tantos trabejar para liberar tensiones luego ya de revisar if i had beyonce i wouldbe listening to that. i dont' have beyonce, i have shakira it will do i currnelty have 3 klonopin and 4 gin n juice in my symptom. ANd it helps. everythign is clearer an not hing is resolved. and that's just how time goes. i listen to this on top volume .. eyes closed.. hoping that even in this haze my touch typing classes will amount to some thing... es hora des descansar... i am not sure how to proceed in any of this. solo en las calles transitar... i wish i had a friend who could also fill the role of mentor. cos i have no idea of how to proceed in any of this. con quien al menos tranquilo pueda conversar i give up... tomorrow i start deleting and then maybe with it some clarity will come. delete delete delete delete maybe with the new computer directio n will come i have to tis come based on my inversions o the past few days... absolute yes list 1: music 2: squad 3: taurus 4: tarot 5: love (the reciprocated kind) this list has precious ittle space for much that is online and much that is offline as well.. so the deletinghas t o come if i am to accomplish what i have to what i want to. and i hate poepole who make prosmises and thety dont mean them. that sucks doesn't it? i hate when people say thing s like oh you're so important, you're such apriotiry.. oh i don't mean-you- you're different. bollocks.. mouth make fi say anything. i'm terrorised.. every bump, noise.. render me immobile. who's next. and why aren't those people ever sincere? ok i want to make a list of people i miss... Let me think .. i miss .... shyama daryanani... cos i loev her but ihaven't seen her since 1999... but i got an email from her so i'm happy and iget to write her and tell her that niki doo is strung out and she'll say oh niki doo and i'll love her even more i miss.. lynn li ... cos i love her but i talk to her almost every day which is no damn substitute for the real thing i miss... dave kidner.. cos i still love him so damn much and i dont think i'll ever love anyoe that much and if i do what are the odds of themloving me back. honestly... i miss ... shamila bandyopadhy, myrto serafetinidou, and susanne rose cos i have no idea why they disppeared i don't miss... angela blackman.. cos she just acted like a really childish bitch about things and that's wanky i miss... the bas that i used to know i don't miss.. the bas that i discovered... I miss the potential that each day and month and year used to bring... i want to get some of that back. i don't miss.. a few names that won't go in here cos my reasons are still privy rivvy. and you don't miss me and you don't give a fuck and that's how it is.. so let's leave it there. i've taken too much time off from recording. i need to get back. i need to get back. i wont beback tomorrow though. i need to sort myself out. and i have databases to compile.
the one thing that my stupors have shown me that is that focus and clarity willl probably be my salvation... mientras tanto este mundo gira y gira sin poderlo detener y aqu� abajo unos cuantos nos manejam como fichas de ajedrez no soy la clase de idiota que se deja convencer pero digo la verdad y hasta un ciego lo puede ver it's time to put on Rainbow... cut me some slack... i'm really not in the mood. ************************************************************************* 1:32 a.m. - Monday, Nov. 10, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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