tuluum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Calm (?) Interpretation: Today is a day of inner and out conviction and strength... a new chapter in my life is beginning! I need to keep my comments and criticisms to myself for the next 24 hours : (Subconscious: The Hermit) Well today is the big day. Meeting the DP and all. I've lost a tremendous amount of personal respect for him as of late but what the fuck ever. I've come this far and everything is telling me to push ahead. I'm still not nervous. Which is a good thing. When I get nervous it is usually a danger sign. I was thinking of popping half a Klonopin and have a little 'sippa sippa' to relax just in case.. we'll see... I mean.. I 'll be driving and all.. Though.. I could pop it when I get there and then it should wear off before I have to drive home. I mean it's only a 3 - 5 minute drive anyway - quiet residential route. We'll see... No I'm not an addict... I just don't want to fuck up, y'know? OK... I guess I'll spend today going over the arrangements once more.. prettifying myself and deciding what to wear.. I also have to make some more money so I'm gonna make a BUY NOW list of services and update my portfolio :).. SO! .. I've been plotting my future empire.. and it's looking something like this ... (encrypted for my protection :P) MG LLC : : - MF - PC - PR - ML - M LLC - BP - SLP - MP - TD - CG Yeah.. that looks about right ... (hahahha)... and I feel it coming.. I DO I DO I DOOO :D Last night I had this dream about Angela.. It was extremely bizarre. Gizelle was there and LaLa and Miss Ruddell (but her head was shaved and she was wearing sky blue flowing robes). Anyway, I hugged Angela and told her I missed her. She hugged me back. We all sat down and I felt glad to have my old friend back. I had made a chocolate cake for Miss Ruddell but she disappeared and never reappeared! She probably knew LaLa was gonna show up :P At some point during the dinner my father started behaving very mean and cruel. No one knew how to handle it. The final straw was when he started being glib about Angela's father's death. I flipped out and the dinner was over. I apologized to Angela and left her with Gizelle. The next time I saw her she was cowering in a corner by my front door. I freaked out and wanted to know what was wrong. I heard a voice from outside and looked out to see Dominic (!?!) He wanted to speak to Angela. I found this odd as I didn't even think that they knew each other. She cowered even more and I knew that something very wrong was going on here.. I told him to leave and he did. Angela then totally flipped out on me and starting smashing up the living room. OK. This is where my compassion ends. I got all kung-fu on her ass. Her mother shows up to take her away. As she leaves, Lala hands her a present. A keychain with a large skyblue leather and silver cross. That last thing that I hear as she [Angela] leaves is her laughing in this very loud and hollow manner. Lala looks hurt and I am left wondering how things reached to this point. I know that I will never see her again. I turn on the TV to try and relax but all I see are riots through Asia, black men being chased and shot point blank in their heads and people being eaten by alligators, as well as children getting their throats slit by other children.. yeah... **************************************************************************** Current Clix Ranking: ? | Previous Clix Ranking: 31 9:06 p.m. - Thursday, Jan. 23, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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