tuluum's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rambling to Wisdom Interpretation: (Subconscious: The Devil) Whee! Finally! A Happy Card :) But, the Devil as subconscious? What's the dealio? The Ten of Cups represents joy, optimism and being at home with oneself and others. Well, that's cool cos today's been a pretty good day. My mom has liked my 'Arcana Art' Designs :) I've also been tackling my energy drains. I'm halfway through another design and doing some Tarot readings :) All of which have helped to uplift me. So did Gizelle's visit :D Still have to call back Simi though : Which, I guess, is where the 'The Devil' comes in. 'The Devil' represents traps, boundaries and limitations. In this case I believe the meaning is that although, on the surface, today was a good day I still have deeper issues that need to be dealt with. Those 'demons' that literally have paralyzed me this month, and in particular over the last few days. How do I do this? By focusing my energy. Becoming more centered. Balance is very hard for me. It's a recurring topic on one of the Aspie lists that I am on. We are so strong in some areas and yet so 'developmentally challenged' in others. The more focused I get in some areas the more others deteriorate. I can not seem to integrate the personal and the professional. Balance. Balance. Balance is my bane. When I focus on my holistic health my work and projects lose momentum, when I focus on my work the opposite happens and I slide and feel the crack. Depression and darkness start to encompass and destroy me, from the inside out. I get manic. I can't sleep. I get lethargic. All I do is sleep. The key? Balance. When I break 'my routine' (routines are every important to an Aspie's health). When my personal upkeep slides. When I skimp on meditation. All of these things lay a fertile ground for fear, mania, hysteria, panic, paranoia and hysteria to proliferate and play. It's all about choice. My choices. So, like Mariah, I guess I am 'exhausted' and it's time to retreat. Next week is my monthly Rosh Chodesh break. I will restart and replenish then, and try again to integrate these two realms that exist in opposition to each other for some reason. Well, I'm glad to have reached this conclusion, thanks for indulging me once again. I'm watching 60 Minutes by the way. Dan Rather's sexy points have just TRIPLED on my 'personal charts' :D It's great to actually see and hear Saddam for once. How come CBS can find him but the CIA can't ? **************************************************************************** Current Clix Ranking: 33 | Previous Clix Ranking: 31 9:55 p.m. - Wednesday, Feb. 26, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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