tuluum's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In a world where innoncence is quickly claimed...
i don't know what to think
where to go
what to do
all i know is that i will -not- be hospitalised this time around
I will not put holes in my skin
i can't put my family through this again
i can't put myself through this again
i have them depending on me
i have their lives depending on me
the drinking and the pills have to stop,
at least for today
thank you for listening to me last night steve and for really caring and for giving me that safe zone to express myself in, cos I really needed it, and I don't know what I would have done to myself last night without it. Cos it was getting really macabre up in this vacuum called a mind... I think I also gave a little isight audio shoutout to blackmartha after the gin n juice kicked in.
and I'm sorry if you think less of me for any of this... but you know moccassins..
Look, bottom line:
I'm going to hold on.
I'm going to love.
I'm not going to stop loving.
Though it tears me and scares me up inside.
And I wish I could hear voices to names through this.
And see faces
And see eyes
And press flesh
And I wish...
But wishes do come true cos Shyama wrote me and I needed her by me so badly yesterday... that can't be just coincidence.
I will love through this.
I -will- love through this.
And today I will sit down and make my Mishlach Manot list
And make this a beautiful Purim
And maybe when Purim is over the world will seem a little kinder, and people as well.
You are a Waiting angel. You stay inside your
little world waiting for that special someone
to come and take you away. You hope that the
day that your love will come will be soon, and
no one can pick on you for wanting to save
yourself. On the other hand, your hopes
decrease every day that you suffer. Try to hold
on a bit longer...
What Different Kind of Angel are you...? ( Anime-ish pics )
brought to you by Quizilla
*************************************************************************
*************************************************************************
8:13 a.m. - Wednesday, Mar. 03, 2004
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------